Lately I have been so productive
(see what I did there..not using the word busy eh? replace your negative thoughts!)
that when I do get a moment of calm and quiet my brain is unable to quiet down. Since having my son (specifically using hypnobirthing/deep meditation) I am now able to feel how tense my muscles are. If I sit quietly for a moment and really tap into the present I can feel my own stress. It's remarkable.
Maybe it's simple.. idk.. sometimes you don't realize the weight you're carrying until you let it go.
It sounds ridiculous but that's where my feelings are. Not to sound to cliche' with the whole New Year, new me thing, but it's kinda like that for me.. the only difference is it's like that for me the whole year.. every month I set new goals and along side those goals I also break it down and set weekly and daily goals.. so.. I'm always focusing on the new me.. I accomplished almost all of my goals last year minus a few festive foods I wanted to cook.. maybe a few crafts I wanted to do.. but the point is I got the things I really wanted to do done. So that makes me pretty hopeful for my future.
It's nice to look back and realize you did accomplish a lot more than you remember. This happened with the Good Jar too. We read over all the awesome things from our 2015 Good Jar and we had forgotten about a ton of stuff that happened!! We had a nice couple pay for our breakfast one morning in the drive thru.. that was an awesome experience.. it was really nice to remember all the Good that happened for us. So the Good Jar is back on full swing.
My mind is very full.
I'm constantly on a rampage full of lists and goals and ideas..
I just need to empy out the brain.
I suppose a lot of them are repeat goals.. and not because I haven't accomplished anything but because I haven't reached the full potential of the goal..
I suppose I should be one of those "enjoy the journey" kinda gals because uhh my goals are huge.. some of them.. and it's .. yup I'm about to say it...
it's going to take time.
NOOOO!! I gotta have patience... but I'm learning.
I'm learning to see the progress that I'm making vs constantly selling myself short and assuming I'm a failure. I'm not a failure. I am a success because I continue. I progress. Things are happening just not at the rate that I wish... but they are happening.
Which means that I am progressing closer to where I want to be.. and I'm gathering valuable information along the way... information that I may actually need later in order to fulfill my goal to it's highest good!!
So for now it's patience and persistence.
I also need to empty my mind so that I can continue to live intentionally and not react without thought.. or react negatively.
I need to focus on being more aware. More present. Less regrets.